THE CYCLE OF THE SOUL
Part I
The Material Life

Jozef Rulof

World Wide Web version
© 2014 'De Eeuw van Christus'

When I woke up I asked myself where I was. After thinking for a while I remembered what had happened to me. I was free at last, could go where I wanted and would finally see people. I jumped up from the place where I had fallen asleep and set out on my journey. Soon I would meet them. Oh, how happy I felt.

I wanted to go back to civilisation, where ‘they’ lived who had helped me to here. With them I did not want to have anything to do, but I only wanted to know who had plunged me into this misery and how devilish they really were. Their powers I had already encountered and experienced, but now I would get to know them in person.

I walked on and on, always further, but there did not seem to be an end in sight. How far had I strayed from the inhabited world? The world in which I walked now was still the same empty world. No animal, plant or human life form, nothing but the silence of death. But it would come, I was certain of that. And so I continued my walk and in my feelings it seemed more like weeks than like hours of travelling. Would it never end? What was happening to me this time? Yet I kept on going, always further. Presently I would see people and find entertainment. I was starved for company. For how long had I been alone? First in my cell and next in this place of horror. But now that I could go further, nothing would stop me. Further, always further, I would soon get there.

Yet I found myself becoming dejected, because it took so long and was so far. But I called up all my strength and marched forward to the land with the many inhabitants and their amusements. But the change did not seem to come. Wasn’t I truly free then? Was there a new horror waiting for me? Had I not suffered enough yet? Was there no end? Had they deceived me again with this? I was alive, I could move and yet could not reach what I wanted to possess. Again I began asking a thousand questions and made myself angry. No it wasn’t that, I had to go further still, I had not come to the end yet.

After some rest I got underway again, looked left and right around me, above and below me, but there was no apparent change. I remained alone with that awful sepulchral silence that I had felt near my grave. I was still in this empty world and I wanted out! Leave as soon as possible, for people and to where there was motion. I would undoubtedly go insane if there was no end forthcoming.

After walking for a long time I sat down to rest again. Ah, alas, how terrible is this life, how incomprehensible, how inhuman; it shocked me deeply. How could a God allow this? I had been feeling respect for Him, but now my good intentions were being smothered. Once again I began to hate and curse. Wasn’t there any mercy? God doesn’t doom, but isn’t this doom? Am I not now being doomed? This I was telling myself, while at the same time I urged myself to remain calm. I should wait, calm down and continue on. But I was sure that I had walked for weeks already and still there was no end. Three, four times I had rested already and still I was in this world with nothing in it.

With the last strength in me I went on my way again. I quickened my pace and ran towards the unknown, but the change did not happen and all tired out I dropped down and for the umpteenth time fell asleep. How long I slept I did not know, but I remembered my condition. And again I set out for I felt rested. However, there did not seem to be an end to it. I searched for ways to get out of this horrible predicament, but with what and how? Nothing could I find and I raved and ranted like a madman. Suddenly I felt dead tired. My throat constricted, hunger and thirst bothered me and many other ills more. Inwardly chafing over this terrible suffering I started on my way again, but after a few steps I collapsed again and lost consciousness.

Again I woke up and started anew. After walking for a time I began to have doubts again. Now I tried to find my earthly body, reasoning that the mistake had been mine. For sure, I should not have left it yet. I searched, felt around, touching, but my earthly garment remained missing. Then back to walk again and this time I would try to stay quiet and calm. Again I walked for ages and still nothing changed.

Then I tried to close my hands around my throat and strangle myself, for this way I would go mad. But even that was not possible for when I thought of myself my hands refused and bounced off me. I could not reach myself. So I found out that I could not destroy myself. In whatever I thought of, I could pass myself, but against myself I could do nothing. I was life and this life could not be destroyed. A slight dizziness was all I felt. This happened because I brought myself in disharmony.

What should I do now? Was I dreaming perhaps? Did I really live in eternity? Did I have to stay in this void? Where was the end? Who would be able to help me? Here were neither people nor animals, nor did I receive an answer. However, after a long time of meditation I picked myself up and set out again. According to my feelings it seemed as if years had passed. After walking for some time I sat down to rest once more. I must have slept some time, for afterwards I felt refreshed and cheerful. It was certainly very peculiar that after every sleep I felt so refreshed. I continued my journey and some time later I thought I felt a soft breeze or did I imagine it? No, I felt it. Yes, at last there seemed to be a change. I went forward, but did not hurry any more, since I wanted to concentrate on everything around me. That soft little breeze became a rushing noise; I could now feel it too. I thought I saw life around me, it was above and below me and wherever I looked. Inside me my soul exulted now that at last I would see life. Why it had taken so long I did not understand, but I would ask the first person I met. I wanted to know the meaning of all my experiences. I felt that now I was on the right way and I walked on.

Before, beside and above me I saw shadows, but below me it grew darker at every step. The soft wind I had felt came up stronger and turned into a storm, the rushing became a strong howling. With every step life around me changed. I marvelled at how natural all this took place. Below me the air became closer and I felt like on earth. Was this the earth? Was I in the civilized world? Those shapes took on form, everything began to materialize and it was as if I stepped into an other world. My heart began to beat in my throat and I began to feel frightened. Too long had I been alone. Now I saw life and presently I would see people. Everything became clearer and closer and I felt I was returning to earth.

Was I here then in all reality, in the spiritual life? I flew along to meet this life and knew of no stopping. I heard now the tumult of a hurricane, it sounded as if heaven and earth were being destroyed. Was this hell? Yet I moved on, for it beckoned me and I longed for it. Fear and nervousness were gone. The wilder it became, the better I liked it. But it was not very easy to walk on, because I had to battle with the storm and that tired me out. As I gradually progressed I became absorbed in this new life and now that I had come this far I did not feel it so strongly, though I was sure that something was holding me back. I resisted that force strenuously in my eagerness to finally see people. But this resisting force wore me out so much that I decided to rest a bit. I supposed that I was not yet used to this life and needed time to toughen up a little.

There ahead of me I saw a city and people had to live there, but around me there was darkness, though I still could see quite well. While I was thinking about this I thought that I heard a voice. When I looked around me I saw nobody.

Again I heard someone talking and asked: ‘Is anybody there?’

‘Yes’, I heard.

‘Where are you?’

‘Here, with you, but invisible.’

‘Invisible?’ I repeated. ‘Why don’t you come to me?’

‘Listen, my friend, I have something to tell you.’

‘You have something to tell me?’

‘Yes, if you will listen.’

‘Can you tell me where I have come from?’

‘That I will explain.’

I now listened with the closest attention, for I knew already who was talking to me.

I heard him say: ‘You walked endlessly on and on and no end came. Yet this end has now come. After your release you had to live out the time that you in the normal situation would have lived on earth. Is this clear to you?’

I thought for a minute and said: ‘No, I don’t understand.’

‘Listen then, you yourself made an end to your life on earth. Do you know that?’

‘Yes, I know that.’

‘Well then, you would have gone on living on earth and this time you could only live throughout when you were free of your material body.’

I now understood what the voice meant.

‘What do you intend to do?’

‘I want to see people.’

‘Hear me out. Before you lies the astral world; what you hear is the sound of passion and brutality. But over there you see an other road. That one will lead you to the silence, but a different kind of silence than you have felt. It is the road to the spheres of light, to the higher existence. You still have no consciousness and other forces can destroy you. But when you continue to seek the higher life then I will assist and support you in your efforts.

‘Am I not conscious.’

‘Not conscious’, came the reply.

‘Is that there the earth before me?’

‘The earth, my son.’

‘And where is hell?’

‘This is your hell.’

‘My hell?’

‘Your hell’, I heard him say very plainly. ‘The hell is the mirror image of your inner life.’

‘Is there not a burning fire?’

‘No, only the fire of passions.’

I thought a long time and presently I heard him ask: ‘What do you wish to do?’

‘I want to see life and meet life. What do you advise?’

‘Act according to your own feelings and follow the voice of your heart. When you need me and problems arise that need to be explained, when you feel that you would like to get to know life, our life, and feel the seriousness of your life, understand the sorrow on earth and like to follow that other road, call me then and I shall come to you.’

‘Are you Emschor?’

‘I am Emschor, your spirit-guide.’

‘Were the feelings I felt when I lived in that silence yours?’

‘Mine, my son. I follow your every move and shall continue to do so.’

‘Did you wake my friend Roni up?’

‘Yes, I did.’

‘Why? And where does he live?’

‘Later. One day you will know why, one day we shall see each other again. Follow your road and seek the higher things. Farewell, Lantos Dumonché, farewell, God bless the ways you travel. Know that He is a Father of Love.’

The voice faded, the last spoken words came from afar.

But I wanted to see people and life, nothing but life. Before me lay the astral world where people lived and I went on to face the unknown.

End of part one