THOSE WHO CAME BACK
FROM THE DEAD

Jozef Rulof

World Wide Web version
© 2014 'De Eeuw van Christus'

There was more light around me and, as I said, my home was open and it would remain so forever. I understood my situation; nothing was strange or incomprehensible to me any more.

I was longing to see my loved ones. I tried to imagine the earth, but I had to give up since I did not know where to begin. Where was the earth, the planet I had lived on? How were my beloved ones and how long had I been dead? Were my wife and child still alive? Were they in good health?

The brother knew that I had a child. I had the feeling that I had been here for quite some time. How I had changed already, and yet I hadn’t done anything and achieved very little. I had merely worked on myself, that was all. Yet I thought differently and it didn’t require an effort because I was no longer mixed up. That struggle had been unbearable, it should not have lasted any longer. Now I fully understood the brother. But I was not yet able to fathom eternal life, I still had to learn that. How simple it all was, and yet so difficult.

How much people had to discard who lived to the full and those who had no love for anything at all. They will have to make up a great deal. I already felt sorry for them, they were poor souls when they arrived here. Oh, I shivered when I thought of them. I was only a child in sin, I had not committed big sins but still I had to discard a lot. On earth I wished for everybody’s happiness, I did not hanker after wealth, I just lived my earthly life. Yes, it was earthly. I felt and understood the great and enormous difference between the two lives. I had not been bad but not good either. I lived between the material and spiritual level, floated in space and had no spiritual ground under my feet. I arrived here in the same condition and had now discarded all these earthly meaningless ways.

I thought of all my friends and acquaintances who were poor in the spirit just as I was. How did they feel themselves, these unfortunate ones? Every Sunday they went to church and yet I knew only too well that they had no spiritual property. In that way they would never receive it nor acquire it. Their way of life was not in accordance with it, they were coarse-material, sometimes even mean, very mean. On their faces one could read their religion, they burned candles and incense and cursed other religions and people. Now I saw through all this, now I understood all this earthly behaviour.

I wondered how many candles my mother had lighted for me. Maybe dozens and still I was not in heaven and would never get there through all those candles. But the church, her religion and faith urged her to act like that.

I had to work on myself, that is the only way and I seriously wanted to.

On earth I knew people who begrudged others everything and yet they were pious and believed that they would enter paradise. I saw their distorted faces and heard their cries, asking why and what for. They would receive their heaven and the gates of heaven would be opened for them but what kind of heaven? Oh, when they arrive here their sorrow will be terrible. The more struggle one is faced with on earth the happier he will be on this side. Now I felt all this, now I had learned to know myself.

Finally the brother called me and we were soon in the countryside.

Everything was strange to me. I’ll tell you, Jozef.

We walked in nature and while walking all that nature and everything around me faded away. Then I felt myself getting lighter and my surroundings vanished. Everything had disappeared. We had been taken up in the cosmos and floated in space on our way to the earth. I remained in the same light, the same light that was around me and that I could call my own. So this was my own attunement, the love I possessed. In that light I was going to see the earth.

The brother explained everything and I asked him many questions about everything we came across on our way. You just can’t imagine what a tremendous experience it is to float in the universe. I felt as if I still lived on earth though I knew I had died there. In spite of seeing and hearing everything there was much I did not understand. The disappearance of my sphere was amazing. People on earth cannot imagine this, but one day they will experience it.

I saw planets, stars and other celestial bodies where people live, people like we are, but in a higher condition. We met other people whom I could only see through the powers of my teacher. All this is concentration, adjusting yourself inwardly, passing over to those levels, which power I did not yet possess.

I asked the brother how long I had been in the spheres. He said: ‘Six months and a few days, according to the time on earth.’

Six months, to me it seemed an eternity. I thought of my wife and child. How would they be when I saw them again and could I find them? They would be happy to see me again.

It became dark around us, but I could see through my own attunement for my light remained and yet I was in an unknown darkness. When I asked the brother what this meant he said: ‘We are in the sphere of the earth.’

Amazing, I thought.

‘Whom do you want to contact?’ the brother asked me.

Contact? What did he mean by contact?

‘You want to go to your wife and child, don’t you?’

‘Yes, I’d love to.’

‘Then I’ll concentrate on you while you keep thinking of your wife and child, that is making contact. By concentrating on a subject we’ll get connection.’

Now I understood what contact meant. So I thought of my house on earth, that’s where I would find them. It was not difficult and as I was longing to see them I remained in contact with them. Nothing seemed simpler.

‘Look’, the brother said, ‘there in front of you, that is the earth.’

I saw a mighty globe which radiated a weak light. Closely around the globe I saw a circle of light.

‘The radiation of the earth’, the brother said, ‘that is the planet earth, that is where you lived and where you died.’

It was a mighty sight.

‘Do you know where they live?’ I asked.

‘I don’t’, the brother said, ‘but you do, don’t you?’

How could we find my wife and child on that big earth?, I thought.

However the brother said: ‘Keep thinking of them, your own thoughts will bring you to them. In turn I connect myself with you, and as I said, your concentration will take us to them.

‘How simple it is’, I said to the brother.

‘Everything is simple once we understand those powers, but I advise you to remain calm in everything you will experience. Be careful to control yourself.’

‘Yes, I’ll do that’, I said.

The next moment I got the feeling that I could not think any more. However much I tried, I could not concentrate.

I asked the brother what this meant and he said: ‘I withdrew my influence from you and you felt you were floating on without concentration. You would keep floating in the same place without getting any further if you were not being helped. I did this to show you that you’ll have to learn all this yourself. Strong concentration is necessary to make a connection. In the future when you have acquired these powers, everything will be different. This is how we continue to develop you. The time will come when you can stand on your own feet, move on your own powers and act when required. Now we are on earth. This journey took a long time, but if one has the ability one can move as fast as light and contact with the earth if the need occurs. This will come later.’

How surprised I was to be back on earth, I saw houses and streets, though people and everything appeared to be quite different. Now I could look through people. Had they changed? No, I had changed and my whole condition. I saw the earth from this life and that was quite peculiar so that I gave a cry of surprise. What a miracle it is to be dead, yet alive, and to see once more on earth. To see people and to hear them speak and to walk right through them while they feel nothing. To experience this is the greatest wonder for the human being when he returns to earth for the first time. It moved me deeply, everybody would be impressed by this.

I noticed that we were in a neighbourhood I knew. Then I saw the street where I used to live. I wanted to rush forward to my house but I felt that I was held back.

The brother looked at me and said: ‘What was our agreement? To stay calm and to control yourself in everything. Be careful, Gerhard, you’ll see strange things.’

But when I was way down the street I ran off to the house where I had died. I grasped the doorbell to find I lacked the strength to make it ring. What could that mean? I wanted to ring again and this time I noticed that my hand went right through the bell.

The brother who had meanwhile caught up with me looked at me and said: ‘In this way you’ll never get in. I’ll solve this problem for you. Why such a hurry? You live in eternity, don’t you. Where is your self-control?’

I cast down my eyes and realized that I had already forgotten myself. How difficult it was to constantly remember.

‘Come, we’ll enter.’

The brother went ahead of me and entered through the door.

‘They don’t have to open the door for us, we are spirits, Gerhard, we have discarded the material body. Come, follow me.’

I experienced an other wonder, who would have expected this? All these spiritual laws and possibilities were new to me.

We were soon upstairs. I felt my heart beat fast, for now I was going to see my child and my wife. Here I was in my own house, here I had died and here was everything I had left behind. Would I see them and did they still live here? Now I heard talking, I called my wife and waited for an answer. I heard nothing. I ran to the living room where I heard voices. I clearly heard that the discussion was about domestic affairs. I called out again but there was no reply. The voices were not familiar to me. I thought I could see a shade near the window. Once more I tried to call my wife, but again there was no reply.

I looked at the brother who asked me: ‘Isn’t that your wife there knitting?’

When I looked more closely I saw that they were different people. I didn’t know these people but they could answer all the same, couldn’t they? I was in my own house, where was my wife?

‘They can’t hear you’, the brother said.

‘They can’t?’

‘No, because you are a spirit. Your soft but clear calling cannot be heard by people on earth.’

I shouted at the top of my voice.

‘They won’t hear that either’, the brother said.

What did all this mean? I had lived here, my wife and child should be here.

‘Oh, please help me, brother, I want to see them, I don’t want to return until I have seen them all.’

‘Be calm and stay that way, Gerhard! Is she your mother?’

‘No, she isn’t.’

‘Then we are in the wrong place. I knew that.’

‘You did?’ I asked in surprise.

‘You were thinking of your house and so we came here, but you should have thought of your family. I followed your thoughts. It will teach you to focus accurately and to think of what you want to meet and see again. Do you follow me?’

‘Yes, brother.’

‘Other people moved into your house.’

‘But how is that possible, in those few months?’

‘It must be so, but we’ll find them. Come, follow me.’

That was the first disappointment I got on earth. It had not entered my mind.

‘She may be staying with my mother, will you take me there?’

As I said it was the first unpleasant experience. Yet I was pleased because I had found again something, if only my former home. We went through the streets and were soon in the neighbourhood where my parents lived. I managed to control myself and I closely followed the brother. Here lived my mother. Several pieces of furniture in the hall showed that she was still living here. I recognized several pieces of furniture still in the same place where I had put them.

‘Mother’, I cried out, ‘mother, I’m here, Gerhard.’

I listened carefully but there was no response here either. Through the excitement I had completely forgotten what the brother had explained to me. I ran into the room where I had often been, but I saw nobody. Would I be faced with a second disappointment? That would be terrible. The brother took my hand and stopped me.

‘I’ll help you, you still don’t know how to concentrate. Look over there!’

I looked at the place where the brother was pointing and saw my mother. I rushed over to her and shouted: ‘Mother, mother, I’m here, Gerhard.’

But mother ignored me.

I called her again: ‘Mother, look, I’m alive, I’m here. You think I’m dead, but I’m alive.’

My mother neither saw nor heard me, I remained invisible to her.

‘Don’t you hear me?’

I kissed her on both cheeks, but she pretended not to feel me. I thought I would sink through the floor.

‘Mother, how hard-hearted you are! What have I done? Look at me, it’s me. What does all this mean?’

Suddenly my mother said something to somebody who was with her. I heard them speak but it was very strange. Again I tried to get my mother’s attention but I did not succeed. I was losing my selfcontrol and I felt my fear return. Again I cried out but she still did not hear me. As before I heard her speak to somebody who was near her and then I saw whom she had spoken to, I saw my wife.

‘Did you call me?’ she asked.

I did not hear any more and I ran to her and took her in my arms. How terrible, she did not feel me. She walked away and I could not stop her. I hung onto her neck, thus trying to hold her back. But she just carried on. The hearts of the people on earth must have turned to stone.

Whatever possessed them to ignore me? I shouted as hard as I could but she did not hear me, it was as if I was not there. I ran to her again and pressed her against me and kissed her on the mouth, cheeks and forehead, but she did not feel me. I did not exist any more for her because I was dead. Yet I was alive.

Dizzy, my head bowed down I stood there feeling forlorn. How I had longed to see her only to find that I could not reach her. I tried to contact my mother again, but in vain. I embraced her, pinched her on the arm so that I thought I would hurt her but she did not feel anything.

I called out again: ‘Mother, have I changed so much? I do love you.’ I shook her, but I only shook myself, I could get no connection. I knelt down in front of her and looked up into her eyes, but she looked right through me. Her eyes only saw what belonged to the earth, she was unable to see me.

I was overwhelmed by grief. A deep sorrow befell me, I was broken-hearted. How much had I suffered already! I had not counted on this, it was too much for me. Her eyes were and remained blind to me. She could not hear or feel me. Not to feel me, not to see or hear me, oh, what a disappointment!

This made me angry; I lost control and ran to my wife. I pulled her against me with all my strength, kissed her violently on the cheeks, mouth and forehead. I heard the strong beating of her heart but had to let her go for she walked through me.

Nevertheless she must have felt something because she said to my mother: ‘How odd, just now I had some palpitations.’

My mother did not answer but looked at her. I followed my mother’s gaze and I felt the anxiety, thirst and swollen throat return. I lost control but there was water here and I ran to the kitchen to turn on the water tap. But I was not even able to do that. Couldn’t I even get a drop of water? I battered on the tap but my hand went straight through it.

I ran to the room again. I did not see the brother, I had forgotten all about him. I struggled with myself like a madman. I had forgotten spiritual life and my composure. What terrible experiences I went through!

Again I knelt down and called: ‘Mother, mother!’

Then I jumped up and tried to get my wife’s attention, but she felt nothing at all. She was even further away from me than my mother. In a corner of the room I suddenly noticed my child. I called the little one, but the child did not hear me either. My God, I thought, another problem. All my loved ones were deaf and blind, apparently I did not exist to them any more. Looking at my child I calmed down a bit. It played there so peacefully so that I could think more clearly.

It was then that I saw the brother. He stood at the entrance of the room, his arms crossed over his chest and looking at me. I trembled and was ashamed of myself and felt paralyzed. He shook his beautiful wise head and came up to me.

‘Gerhard, my friend, you’ll never reach them like this. I left you to yourself but I noticed the way you acted and forgot everything again. To the earth you have died, dear friend, will you always keep this in mind? Listen: If they were clairvoyant they would have been able to see you, but they can’t see or hear you, for they do not have this gift. However hard you shout, they don’t hear you. You can’t hurt them physically, even if you wanted to.’

The brother’s eyes penetrated me and I understood. How rough I had been.

The brother continued: ‘They live in the material, you in the spirit. For them to be able to see you a connection is needed. Those who live in the spirit and are clairvoyant and clairaudient and thus have these gifts, can see and hear our soft but clear voices. They see and feel our life. People on earth must be interested in our life otherwise they are out of reach to us, however good instruments we may have. Their faith and many other things are against them. However, I can understand your condition as many people forget themselves when they return to earth for the first time. But you must be able to control yourself in everything.’

I looked at the brother with tears flowing down my cheeks.

‘What should we do? Where are my sisters and my father? Is it night or day?’ I asked the brother.

‘It is afternoon on earth, but where your other beloved ones are I do not know at this moment. You see, there are various conditions preventing you from getting into contact with them.’

What was left of my joy? There they were, my loved ones, but I could not reach them. There was nothing more I could do. They lived and I lived but we were unable to make contact with each other.

I was calm again, near my child I had found my rest. Thank God, I thought, that I did not completely return to that horrible condition. But how distressing it is to return to the earth and not to be heard or seen. Yet I could not leave for they pulled me to them and kept me captive. I felt their love and that made me dizzy. Once more I kissed my mother, wife and child and returned to my mother. I knelt down at her feet and prayed that one day I would be allowed to contact them. I sank away deeper and deeper and I was no longer aware that I was alive. There was great sorrow within me which overpowered me and which made me fall asleep.

When I awoke I lay in my own room. I was far away from the earth and I reflected on everything I had experienced in the sphere of the earth. What a disappointment! But who had brought me back? I could not remember anything at all of my return journey, though I clearly remembered everything that happened on earth. Meanwhile I took care to stay calm, I did not want to have an other relapse.

Then, with my head in my hands I cried for a long time, I could not stop. Could people on earth imagine our sorrow? Oh, on earth one does not know such a sorrow, this is the sorrow of the spirit. Oh, sacred spiritualism, the medium for connection! Without it I could not tell all this. I did not yet know much about it, though I now felt how sacred spiritualism is.

I thought about it for a long time; I wanted to return to the earth to experience it again, but this time fully aware. I had not learned much. If it were only possible to return. The brother had taken me back. How good of him not to leave me alone in the sphere of the earth. I had forgotten myself and nearly hurt my mother. Oh, how I regretted this. When I still lived on earth I would never have done such a thing.

How unnatural it all was, this meeting again and yet it was reality but very strange. I could still feel the beating of my wife’s heart, I had clearly felt it and it had given me a start. Yet she had neither seen nor sensed me. There was such a gap between her and me, the only possibility of bridging the gap was spiritualism. But they did not want to have anything to do with spiritualism. While I contemplated on all this my teacher entered.

‘Still feeling sad, Gerhard?’

‘No’, I said, ‘not any more, I have to accept the inevitable. I thanked God and I thank you too for everything. I would nevertheless ask you whether I may go back, as I would very much like to experience it again, but this time consciously. Now I’ll be able to hold my ground.’

‘Of course, we can go right away and I’m delighted that you have come to that conclusion yourself. You have to go again otherwise your mind will not be at rest.’

I prepared myself and we were soon on our way to earth for the second time. This time I floated towards the earth consciously. I learned to concentrate so that I could go ever faster and I enjoyed it. I focussed intensely and we floated at high speed. Now and then I would slacken my concentration so that my speed would slow down. I found this highly interesting. I looked at the brother and he smiled.

‘Go on’, he said, ‘I’ll follow you.’

I felt so happy to have mastered this and with this joy all my sorrow had gone. By passing on into this and learning it I acquired another power. Now I saw the earth very clearly in front of me and we would soon be there. I had found the way back to earth through my own power.

‘We can go even faster’, the brother said, ‘we’ll try, don’t be frightened, there’s nothing to crash into!’

I felt an intense concentration and we flashed on. Everything disappeared around me as I had focussed on one point. Wonderful powers of the spirit, how mighty human powers can be. My previous fears had gone and we entered the sphere of the earth.

‘Did you assist me, brother?’

‘No, this time I left you on your own’, the brother said.

How happy I was! Again I arrived at my mother’s house and we walked from room to room but I didn’t see anybody. Aren’t they at home?

‘They are asleep’, the brother said, ‘it is night-time now on earth.’

So I went to my mother’s bedroom where I would find her. At the door I stopped and listened. Was it my mother there lying in bed? The brother beckoned me to go nearer. Yes, it was her, my mother was sound asleep.

‘Your mother is ill.’

‘Ill’? I asked.

‘A slight ailment.’

‘How do you know that so quickly?’

‘I see it in her aura, concentration, my friend.’

This time I did not call her as I knew that she would not hear me anyway.

‘I see her so clearly’, I said to the brother in surprise, ‘what does that mean?’

‘Last time you were excited and you saw her through my power. Now you see her consciously.’

Was this something else I had acquired?

‘Just by controlling yourself ’, my teacher said.

‘Is she going to pass over, brother?’

‘No, she’ll recover. She’ll have to stay on earth for many years yet. You’ll go and fetch her when the time comes because you’ll feel that inwardly.’

Now I looked at the place the brother was pointing at and I startled. What was that? Near my mother and bent over her I saw a shining figure. The being radiated a beautiful light, which lit my mother. A beautiful being treated her, his hands were on her forehead. Mother was being treated, assisted by a spirit, I felt it immediately. How was it possible that I had not seen this being earlier.

The brother whispered to me that this was a spirit of higher attunement whom I was not yet able to clearly perceive until later.

The spirit remained over my mother in the same position for quite a while and a powerful beam of light radiated from his hands. He turned unexpectedly and looked at me and I gazed into two beautiful brightly radiating eyes. They were like my teacher’s eyes for I recognized the same powerful radiation.

The spirit was familiar to me, but where had I seen him before? Suddenly I remembered.

‘Grandfather, oh, grandfather, is that you? Here, with my mother? I know you died a long time ago! Did you know that I live in this life as well?’

‘I knew, my boy, I knew long before you entered here.’

‘And you did not come to see me?’

‘Everything at the right time.’

What wonders I was going to experience now?

‘How did you get to earth, grandfather?’

‘I could ask you the same question.’

‘That is true’, I said, ‘but it is marvellous to know someone here in this life’ and I rushed into his arms. It was as if we still lived on earth. How many times had I sat on his knees. How grandfather had loved me! I thought of my childhood and the many good times we had.

‘How long has it been since you died?’

‘A very long time, my boy.’

‘How did you know that mother was ill?’

‘Wonders in spiritual life, Gerhard.’

He laid his hands on my head and I felt his peace which became part of me.

He looked at my eyes and said: ‘Will you try to stand firm and work on yourself?’

‘Yes, I promise’, I said. ‘You have been a good person, grandfather, I heard so much about you.’

‘When you were a little boy I came back to earth from time to time. I’ll tell you something about my life, come and sit down beside me.’

We sat down in a corner of the room, also my teacher and grandfather told about his life. Oh, what a beautiful moment that was! He told about his life on earth and his passing over until this reunion. How mighty it all was. It also opened my eyes. He lived in the second sphere and was a happy spirit. He watched over her, his child, my mother.

Isn’t it wonderful, Jozef? Will people ever be able to understand this? I’m telling you the holy truth, Jozef, I was allowed to experience all this. One has to experience this himself to sense the wonder of it and then one thanks his Father, his God.

How great my joy was. We stayed together for some time but we could not stay here for long.

‘Follow your leader, do what he will tell you, Gerhard’, grandfather said. ‘Work on yourself, I shall care and watch over all of them!’

‘That is a great comfort’, I said, ‘I can work on myself now with an easy mind.’

‘We’ll meet again, I’ll help all my children, including your wife and child.’

‘Do you know where they are?’

‘In the room next door, follow me. Do not forget that they are asleep and need that rest. Will you approach them quietly?’

‘In peace, grandfather, in peace.’

He escorted me to those who belonged to me. There was my beloved child and on the other side her mother, my wife. She was dreaming of a reunion, but she would not be able to accept that I stood here near her, looking at her attentively and following her dream. That was too much for her mind. But some day, some time her eyes would also be opened. No, she did not think evil of me, there was love in her, love for me and I thought of my own dream that had been implanted on me. I could now cause her to dream and I felt how I could reach her. Dreams can be given to people, dreams given from the spirit. Dreams that are prophecies, dreams of love and reunion. I felt deep respect for that mightiness which is God.

Then she moved, I had to stop so as not to disturb her. How easy it is to contact a person in his sleep. In sleep his concentration does not function and the spirit can easily make contact. I followed the working of her heart and felt that her nervous system was under strain. She was mourning because I had died and yet I lived. I put my hand on hers and kissed her on the forehead.

Suddenly she moved, her mind became conscious and her material organs began to work faster again. I saw and felt how the spirit started to work in the material body. I found this most interesting. She woke up and opened her eyes but she did not see or feel me. At the same moment I moved back from her and she fell asleep again. I could have stayed here for hours but that was not possible. I was lost in thought for a while. How beautiful man is when he has spiritual qualities and can attune himself to the side beyond. My teachers had allowed me to experience this. Both looked at me and I understood: It had been my grandfather’s wish and I was most grateful to him. From my wife I went over to my child. I caressed it and put my arms around it, then I quietly took my leave from them.

‘Follow me’, my grandfather said, ‘I want to show you someone else.’

In an other room I saw my father. I had not thought of him at all as we did not have a strong connection with each other. Remarkable that this was felt in life after death. Yet I loved him with heart and soul, but our natures were different, our characters did not agree. On earth I had not been able to understand him and now I saw why it had been impossible. I laid my hands on his head and thought of the time when he too would enter this life. On this side we would understand each other better. Because of my mother’s illness he slept in this room, I perfectly understood.

In a corner of the room was my portrait and next to it a candle was burning to honour me. I was dead and that was the custom for a dead person. I watched the little flame. Did it make me happy? No, I would much rather have felt that the holy light of spiritualism was burning in their souls and that they knew that I was here and alive. That would make me very happy. However, their religion stopped them and I was still unable to bridge the gap. I knew their faith was sincere, which was the terrible thing about it. My mother often went to church to pray for me and all others whom she loved. She would pray for me most of all, I knew that only too well.

Mother, I said inwardly, mother, pray for yourself, that God may open your eyes. That God may give me the strength to awake all of you.

At this moment I felt that my life on the side beyond was beginning. I said farewell to my grandfather.

‘Let all this give you strength, Gerhard.’

‘I’ll do my best, grandfather.’

‘I’ll be going now.’

He looked me into the eyes and not a word was spoken. I took his hands and felt them dissolve. His whole being faded away and was wrapped in a haze.

‘Farewell’, I heard him say, ‘God bless you.’

The light disappeared and my grandfather had passed into a condition unknown to me. There, behind that haze he lived. Now I knew for I had seen and spoken to him. From there I felt his love coming to me. That is how a spirit withdraws after having manifested himself on earth, the spirit who lives behind the veil and is hidden to man on earth. That haze is a reality which I had learned to know. It concealed a treasure precious to me. Behind that haze was the sacrificing love. It is life in and around man, of which many people are still unaware. Only spiritualism can lift this veil so that we become visible. It is the most sacred gift for man. How thankful I felt, so very thankful. Having experienced all this I murmured with tears in my eyes: ‘Dear God.’ Then, covering my face with both hands, I fell down on my knees to thank God for His mighty blessings.

Can you understand and feel what was going on inside me, Jozef, that I was allowed to experience that after so many disappointments and searching? That there is a love surpassing everything, so that you lose yourself.

All this makes one tremble with holy respect for that mightiness and makes one realize one’s insignificance. Through ignorance people degrade the most sacred of gifts and ridicule God’s holy powers. Powers which enable people on earth to communicate with us. When I realized all this it took away my breath. I felt a reflection of another still higher love, a deep warmth which flows through the human soul. I wanted to give myself completely to experience that one day.

I had visited the earth for the second time and now I felt enriched in the spirit. I was free from all my earthly phenomena and I knew why. I now prepared for the return to the spheres. I had enough to consider for the time being.

I did not yet consider you, Jozef, later on I did. That was because other things absorbed me completely and then you can’t think of anything else. Such is our life, only one thing is possible at a time.

We had soon reached the spheres and I started to think everything over again. I remained in this condition for a very long time, Jozef, it could have been weeks. Then I felt that loving thoughts were reaching me and I realized for the first time that you were thinking of me and praying for me. Oh, how happy I was that I could receive this consciously, I thanked you wholeheartedly. A prayer has a lot of power when it is sent consciously. You sent your happiness to me but other prayers often make you sad because man himself is sad. Thoughts of happiness and understanding flowed into me. Now I can tell you that a prayer can work wonders when sent in full awareness. It gives strength and warmth. I felt your love and friendship for me.

Then I started to think again about myself. I prayed fervently to God, for I wanted to do something for other people. I was at perfect peace with myself and I could concentrate. I had learned to know God, I now knew a little bit of that mighty Being Who watches over all His children. Now I could pray from the bottom of my heart and I thanked God for all the blessings given me. I then went to see the brother, for I could now freely move in my own sphere. He looked at me and he was happy too. How I had changed!

‘Look at nature’, he said, ‘everything will look different to you now, the dullness has disappeared.’

I now saw nature as it had always been and that was because I had changed so much and become an other being.

‘You see’, the brother said, ‘that man is very close to nature when he enters here.’

I was now like all the others who lived here. Something was working inside me and something had awakened. I asked the brother what I should do, I could not stay like this. I wanted to acquire other powers, I wanted to serve and work just as he did.

‘Listen, my friend’, the brother said. ‘We have come to the point that you want to work for others. You have a strong will, but you’ll also need knowledge to help others. You still don’t know much about this life and there is still a lot for you to learn. What I showed you in the sphere of the earth was on your own behalf to make you free from the earth. You do feel that I chose the right way? If we had returned immediately you would have forgotten yourself on earth and the consequences would have been disastrous. But all this is over now. We could return and I could explain all the spiritual laws and show you how we do spiritual work such as your grandfather and others do, but that requires knowledge. This can be acquired here in our own sphere. So, if we did return, you would learn, but you would not be able to do anything for others and that is not our aim.

So listen, Gerhard: Attend a school here where you will be explained all the different conditions of transition, from the highest to the lowest. You will learn of the various heavens and hells.’

‘Hells, you say?’

‘Exactly, I have already spoken about that but that was at the moment that you fell asleep.’

‘Remarkable’, I said, ‘you still remember that?’

‘I had not forgotten but listen. At the school you will learn about the spiritual attunements, other laws and forces, planets and stars, man and animal, up to the highest level.

That is the cycle of the soul. The school will take a few months according to time on earth. Anyone whose mind works naturally and who has discarded life on earth and has passed into this life will follow this course. After you have finished you may descend to the dark spheres and your task to do something for other people would commence. Going down to the dark spheres is the most difficult work we know on this side, but one learns more in three months than in other situations in three years. That shows you how difficult it is, but at school it will all be made clear to you.

Life in the dark spheres, my friend, is terrible, you must decide if you want to go, I can’t advise you. I only tell you the possibilities. Think about it very carefully because it requires a lot of sacrifice to work there. No fire is burning there, as I said to you before’ and he looked at me, ‘the fire you will see there is the fire of passion and violence, the people who live there have sunk deeply. You would only go down there to help others.

Come, we’ll take a walk and I’ll show you other people who have been here for quite a long time but who have not yet acquired anything. I told you about them before. Meanwhile you consider what I just told you and later you tell me what you have decided.’

We met many people, but the brother remained silent. I considered what to do, though I was not long in making up my mind. Yes, I wanted to go down, I had to proceed to acquire spiritual powers. However terrible it would be there, I wanted to go.

I asked him: ‘Did you go down when you were told about it?’

The brother nodded that he had and I had already made up my mind and said to him: ‘I have decided, I’ll gladly go down.’

‘Excellent, Gerhard, you follow my way and that of thousands of others’. He took my arm and continued: ‘I thought so, no, I knew that you would decide to do the heaviest work. You’ll be rewarded for that in the future.’

‘When can I go then?’

‘Not so hasty, aren’t you first going to school? Subsequently you will experience other conditions which I’ll show you before you descend. I admire your strong will which makes me very happy. At school, as I told you before, you will be taught various laws and the teachers are spirits from higher spheres. In the darkness you will be faced with a number of problems that could destroy you. You could sink back and we don’t want that to happen.’

‘But that would not be possible, would it?’

‘Not so quickly, you don’t know those who live there, you are still unaware of their frightful and horrible powers. All those powers and obstructions might discourage you and I want to guard you against that. I won’t gamble with your whole personality at stake. The risk is too costly. When you come back from school I’ll show you many other conditions which will also encourage you to do your best. There are some surprises, but after your exam. They’ll teach you how to attune yourself. You have experienced some transitions for instance that to the earth.’

We arrived at a large square where a lot of people were assembled. Among them I saw many I had met before. Now I understood all these people, I knew their level and I could follow them in the spirit.

‘Look over there’, the brother said, ‘that old lady left the earth a long time ago. She is dressed in an earthly fashion because that is the way she thinks, but one day she’ll have to discard that clothing. She should in order to be a simple person discard her possessions. But this is not possible yet. If you follow the working of her mind you feel your own attunement and it will be clear to you how much she still has to throw off. First her dresses then her entire personality. That’s why you may consider yourself fortunate that you arrived here in your funeral suit, otherwise you would have had to discard even more. No gold or precious stones darken your spiritual light, no money or possessions call you back to the earth.

But look at these poor people, they wear the clothes they had on earth and that in itself would not matter so much but it does not belong to this life. That is why their struggle will be terrible. You know how discarding takes place, I don’t have to tell you that. They will also curse this life and everything related to their own personality. Not until then will they become free from earthly life and will enter here. They live in the spirit but in feeling they are still on earth.

That lady is crying because she thinks she is being neglected. We cannot get through to her and are therefore unable to help her. It would have been no use explaining all this to you at the beginning, you would not have understood. Yet many of them know that they have died on earth. Others cannot yet accept that and they live their lives the way they want to. They are living dead in eternity. They should begin working on themselves, till then their condition will not and cannot alter. Later you’ll be able to talk to them, now I would strongly advise you not to. The brothers and sisters are here to help all of them, which will now be clear to you.

That old man over there is a living dead. He feels he is a nobleman, but that belongs to the earth. On this side we are all children in the spirit and who is not will have to learn that. He feels he is a personality and boasts of what he was on earth and of what he achieved.

But you know that all this is earthly and has no meaning here. They talk about earthly situations while they live on this side. So it is not surprising that they lack spiritual property. They live in a sphere between the coarse-material and the spiritual attunement. They have no light and have cut themselves off from all the beautiful things we have on this side. Isn’t it tragic? They are told of this life and they listen attentively but fail to live up to it. They feel happy, but for us that kind of happiness has no meaning. Therefore they are living dead, exactly as they were on earth, that is the way those people live there and in that condition they arrive here. They cut themselves off from spiritual life, they have no need for it yet. But that time will come, perhaps after many years. Believe me when I tell you that decades will pass before they begin to work on themselves. They are not bad but they have no qualities. This shows you how wonderful it is to know about life after death while still on earth and to arrive here with little earthly property. Those who attune themselves to our life when on earth and live accordingly, all live in the higher spheres. They have reached the first and second sphere and are the happy ones in the spirit.

Among these people here are the intellectuals of the earth, they do feel love, but only for themselves. Here poor and rich are together, but children live in higher regions. A child who dies on earth at a tender age has a different attunement than they have. But all these different levels you’ll get to know at school. Once again, all these people and there are thousands of them here, are not bad, their lives were not animal-like, but they have to discard themselves. I could show you hundreds of similar conditions, but this will suffice as you can imagine all those other conditions. Look, there is our building.